Allowing the world to see the real you is about permission to be human and true confidence.
At first, your reaction might be, “Ugh! The real me? Who would want to see that, anyway?”
When you cast the “real” you as the you with faults, who makes mistakes, who loses her temper, you are equating “real” with “negative” traits.
But, what about all the things that make you amazing?
Permission to be Human
I was raised to focus on the things I could do better. It was a given that I was smart and capable, so my parents’ feedback was mostly about how I could improve.
Mixed with their own perfectionism passed along as “high standards,” it was a heady brew that equaled not good enough.
It took a lot of personal work to come to grips with my own humanity — to allow myself to make mistakes without beating myself up for them, to acknowledge my feelings without rationalizing them and to forgive myself for all of the above.
My kids love to joke about the time I went around the house practicing, “Oops! I made a mistake!” on the advice of my coach at the time. But how freeing it was!
In style as in life, we need to give ourselves permission to make mistakes.
The focus in fashion on “effortless” or “flawless” or “perfect” masks reality. No one gets to “effortless” without a lot of effort. “Flawless” takes an incredible amount of work. And perfect? It’s a myth.
Like Megan Markle’s messy bun, you do not need to be lacquered or polished. You are not a doll.
You are a human. And that is beautiful!
When I was younger, I was brash, full of energy and what I thought was confidence. I realize now it was more like arrogance. I was smart and capable, yes, but I also thought I could do everything better and knew I would work like the Dickens to make sure I proved myself right.
It was exhausting.
True confidence comes from acknowledging the power of both your positives and your negatives.
Now that I am older and child-rearing has humbled me, I understand that both my positive and negative traits make me who I am. Of course, I want to lean into the positive. But, my struggles are real and I can be honest about them with both myself and everyone around me.
I want to show up as the real me. I want that for you, too!
How We Make It Happen:
To show up as the real you, focus in on your positive traits, acknowledge your struggles and align your personal style with both.
- Focus on the Positive: We use your positive traits to build your personal style. Color, cut, fabrication, pattern and styling are all visual terms to convey what makes you amazing. This translation provides the building blocks of your personal style.
- Acknowledge Your Struggles: When you can observe your feelings, you can choose whether to act on them or not. In my client work, I call your struggles your “image gremlins.” They tend to pop up as soon as we start to move out of your comfort zone. Most of the time, they are only trying to keep you safe!
- Align Your Personal Style With Both: Acknowledging your feelings, put yourself together with a focus on the positive. Allow yourself to work around the things that you struggle with and give yourself a boost. Whether it’s with a bracelet with your mantra or patterning that reminds you to approach with love, you can prime yourself to propel your purpose forward.