Do you critique yourself first?

Do you critique yourself first? 1st November 2016Leave a comment

I woke up this morning to find not only had my radio show posted as a podcast, but also my video had posted to PlanetFem!  When I first watched the video, the first thing I did was critique myself.

Do you critique yourself first?

Negative self-talk is one of the ways we keep ourselves safe.  Our ego sits up and pays attention when we take a risk (like getting on camera).  It feels the fear of going beyond our comfort zone and freaks out.

To make sure we don’t do anything crazy like that again, the ego calls in its friend:  the inner bully.  It’s his job to point out all the ways in which what you did was scary or embarrassing or stupid, so you don’t repeat that kind of behavior ever again!

This cycle also comes from something our culture really loves — the idea that you could be perfect. Intellectually, we know this is impossible.  But, the idea is really pervasive and alluring.

I’m a recovering perfectionist — and I know many of you out there are, too.

In the video below, I talk about my own behavior and acknowledge how we can shift the paradigm.  If you have a moment to watch it, I hope it helps you frame your own behavior the next time you try something scary.

Visibility Day

Planet Fem Video

How We Make It Happen:

How We Make It Happen
Photo by Kristina Crane

Showing Up As Yourself:

Giving yourself permission to show up as yourself takes courage.  I’m not going to lie — the culture and many people around you want to put a literal gloss on your self.  If that makes you feel good, go for it!  If it doesn’t, here’s a way to find a personal style that feels like YOU.

  1. Observe My Practice.  Every day on Instagram, I show up and explain why I’m wearing what I’m wearing.  It’s my daily practice and promise to you to walk my walk — not only talk my talk.  To read my blog post on this, click here.
  2. Does Your Personal Style Feel Authentic?  You may immediately know the answer to this question or it may be something you haven’t really thought about before now.  Either way, the question is valid and deserves some thought.  To read my blog post on this, click here.
  3. Learn More About My Approach. I’ve been doing this a long time.  I have talked with hundreds of women about this topic and have created and tested a formula to make it easy.  If you sign up to my newsletter, you’ll get my Personal Style Starter Series which explains everything.  You can always unsubscribe if it does not resonate with you!  Click here to receive your Personal Style Starter Series today!